Honesty in Relationships

This file was very carefully considered and prepared by Max Darby in 2009

This file should be cross-referenced to the files on The Art Teacher as Role Modeland Values and Art Teaching, both of which have also been recently published by Art Education Victoria (AEV).  A paragraph from the ‘Values and Art Teaching’ article has been reproduced at the end of this file. While unintended at the time that article was written, it relates directly to the personal thoughts and advice in this file. What is written is general and not directed to any single person although it clearly relates to my own personal experiences.

In all relationships, professional and personal, truthfulness, honesty, integrity, trust, reliability and respect are essential. When someone pleads for, and over a long period of time is generously given, the benefits of your extensive knowledge, experience, professionalism, nurturing, support and belief, and they break those things above, you have been used and badly let down. They demonstrate their mediocrity, immaturity, dishonesty, paranoia and insecurity. And, when you look, you find they have a  history of letting good people down.

Nelson Mandela expressed it really well, and it’s an excellent thought on which to base your life and work. I have always tried.

You can do whatever you wish with your own life

You cannot do what you wish with the lives of other people

Nelson Mandela (1996)

The following paragraph is reprinted from Values and the Art Teacher

People’s values are most revealed in the ways they act. How often do people say one thing and then act differently? What they say they value is cancelled out by what they do; who they pretend they are doesn’t match the reality; how they demand to be treated themselves is inconsistent with how they treat other people. Sadly, we’ve all met people like that and, if we’re wise, we dismiss them as inconsequential! They demonstrate clearly their dishonesty and how little they value anyone but themselves. 

There can be no greater dishonesty than the betrayal of trust.

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7 Responses to “Honesty in Relationships”

  1. max says:

    Brendan it was great to catch up with all of you. I love Perth. Keep in touch. Cheers Max

  2. joel says:

    Thanks for the blog. It’s real and honest. Based on real life I bet or you wouldn’t write about it so clearly and with passion. Trust is the only thing in life worth striving for I reckon and I agree Mandella is a great person. Regards and keep blogging, I’ll come back here. Joel

  3. max says:

    I’ll definately be in WA in October now. See you there Brendan.



  4. Brendan says:

    Hi Max, I know them all.
    I passed on your contact details to Digby and Lynda is Lynda Kuntyj. Dr. Felicity Haines has retired.
    See you in WA hopefully.

  5. max says:

    Brendan, I just remembered I will be working with art teachers in Perth later in the year and might be able to catch up with you and Digby then. I also know well Feliciy Haines from there…and a lady on the art teachers executive/council named Lynda.

  6. max says:

    Thanks for your comments Brendan. If you live in Perth do you know Digby de Bruin? He used to lecture there and was a member of the executive of the Western Australian Art Teachers’ Association (whatever it’s name was)…it might have changed its name. Please pass on my website and/or my email address if you do? I live in lots of places. Cheers Max

  7. Brendan says:

    Totally spot on and Mandella is a great man. You got it right and the ideas are important. I also read the other files you referred to. I know some of your other writing textbooks too. Where do you live? I’m in Perth, Australia and I think I know you. Brendan.

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